Fine, Make Me Your Villian
by Magnus Salvatore
Summary: I've been smacked in the face with some heavy bull before but I never expected to be turned into a baby. I especially wasn't expecting to be turned into a boy and put into the freaking world of Naruto. I don't even know that much about the Narutoverse to begin with. Well, Godspeed to me. Did I forget to mention that Yamanaka Inoichi is my father? Male OC/Reincarnation (ON HIATUS)
1. Chapter 1 - Fuck Me

Some people are blessed by the world and some people are fucked no matter what, there is no in between, if anyone asked I would say that I was the latter. I kept my eyes open as I saw my father's fist flying at me in slow motion.

Instinctively, I pulled up my hands to protect myself but it was too late, I felt his knuckles smash into the side of my face. Pain exploded in my head and all I saw was white when I collided into the floor but the thing that hurt worse was the drop I felt in my stomach and the bitter fear that paralyzed me. Yeah, my life was fucked. No matter which way you looked at it.

"You fucking bitch, you can't do one simple fucking thing," He growled while grabbing a handful of my black hair and brought my face close to his, so close I could feel his hot breath and the sickening smell of alcohol on it, "Get your stupid ass off the fucking floor, we're not done."

Pulling me up by my hair I bit back a cry of pain and somehow I managed to scramble up into standing position even though my entire body was trembling. Both my hands were holding onto the wrist of the hand that was gripping my hair.

Man, life fucking sucked.

"You stupid cunt, who said you could touch me," He tightened his grip on my hair and smashed my face into the side of the dirty countertop. I let out a strangled cry but he wrapped his other hand around my throat.

"Who said you could speak? Huh? You fucking talking back to me?"

I clenched my teeth while screwing my eyes shut and kept silent. His fingers around my throat started to tighten.

"LOOK AT ME."

Clenching my jaw even harder I opened my eyes just enough to look at his through slits. I knew what was coming next. The hand around my throat started squeezing even tighter, I could feel the panic that had previously been absent start seeping into my limbs.

I hated this part.

I started kicking my legs and grabbed the hand around my throat in attempt to tear it away from me but it was all useless. He set his knee against my chest and leaned all of his weight onto me, I felt the breath I had been holding forced out in one big whoosh. Gasping I tried to suck in air but his hand clasped down until I couldn't even make a sound.

I couldn't breathe.

He was going too far this time.

I clawed at his hand while he viciously laughed on top of me. Squirming and twisting as violently as I could but as black speckles started entering my vision I could feel my body slowing down. Pressure was building in my ears and behind my eyes. I opened my mouth to say stop but nothing came out and as the world faded away and the last thing I saw was my father's face twisting into a sneer.

Yeah, I'm definitely in the latter category.

I drifted in what can only be described as a void. It was filled with everything and nothing all at the same time. The only thing constant was the feeling of emptiness and darkness cascading around you, wrapping you in a cold embrace. I lost track of how long I was in there because time didn't seem to affect it or even exist where I was.

I should have been panicking or at least struggling in some way but the only thing I could muster up was a weak trickle of awareness that I clutched onto tightly. I had the feeling that if I let it go then something essential would shatter and what ever made me, ME, would disappear. So I held it close to myself refusing to let it go even when the void would try to tug it away or unravel it. It was trying to eliminate me which in turn only made me pull it further into my being.

Eventually, I think a compromise was made because no more attempts to unravel me were made, instead I myself was being pushed in a general direction but I wasn't quite sure. It was so slow that I wasn't even certain that I was moving at all.

As I was being pushed my momentum seemed to be gaining speed until it was almost painful. Then everything turned white and everything was burning. I hadn't realized the void had been so cold until I felt warmth, or rather a burning so hot that all I could do was paralyze myself and hope it would stop eventually.

Slowly, ever so slowly I grew accustomed to the heat, it seemed to be merging with the void's cold into a warmth that instead of burning it was a pleasant fever. It took way too long for my liking to settle into a slow steady glow that didn't hurt anymore.

* * *

I've been stuck here for awhile now, the heat it now a comforting warmth that reassures me when I feel the urge to start panicking needlessly. It's not completely dark in here either, I can make out a faded red that shifts from dark to light every once in awhile.

Soft sounds in the background weave their way to me and kind of sound like a language of sorts. It's so faint that sometimes I think that I'm imagining it until one time I felt this ache somewhere lower to stretch, I didn't understand it until I hit something soft and flexible but undeniable alive. If we are being honest it kind of freaked me the fuck out at first as I tried to recognize what the fuck is going on.

The touch seemed to trigger an awareness through my body. I figured out that my foot had touched a soft flexible wall? I'm still somewhat confused but it seemed to elicit a reaction all around. Everything around me shifted violently but quickly settled and the faint voices got louder and more excited.

This made me kind of excited myself as I pushed forward with my what I thought was my hand until it touched the wall again. Another round of excited voices were set off by my motion.

It made me giddy and I grew excited with this knew knowledge that I had a body and could feel sensations with it. That I wasn't alone anymore, that I had some sort of interaction that was absent before. I touched the wall again a few times before I felt somewhat exhausted and overwhelmed and decided to just let myself drift for awhile again.

It went on like that for awhile, when I got too uncomfortable with the stillness I could just reach or kick out to make sure I was actually there. Not too long ago I had reached out to the wall and something pushed back. First off it shocked the hell out of me and second I was kind of upset.

I'm not entirely sure why but it made me extremely uncomfortable so I decided to stop making contact for awhile.

Drifting was nice in its own way except when things started to seriously fade away and I would jolt back into awareness again. It's frightening but extremely hard to avoid since there isn't much else to do but drift and I decided to not make contact for awhile.

I think this worried the voices because after some time (didn't seem all that long actually) concern started lacing into their distant muffled voices. I could feel when they pressed against the soft wall but I did not react back to it. It just made me more weary than anything. I guess it was a punishment of sorts which I know it was petty but, hey, I literally have nothing else to do.

I kept this up for while and the voices grew more urgent and slightly distressed. I felt pretty bad at this point and was about to reach out a hand when I suddenly felt an invading force. It was like creeping blanket slithering to me.

Needless to say I was incredibly shocked. The hell is that? I quickly shifted to get away but only succeeded in pushing and kicking against the wall. I heard one of the voices let out a surprised sound. Then some laughing from another voice that sounded deeper. Seriously, they think this is a joke? Scaring me to get a reaction, what assholes. Something pressed against the wall and in anger I pushed back.

The surprised voice started laughing along with the deeper one. Then it faded into a talking of a sort again.

Assholes.

* * *

Then it happened. Everything around was squeezing me and pushing me, it was painful and frightening. I tried squirming but I barely had any successful motor skills in this body, how the hell was I supposed to escape something that was converging on me from every angle.

It seemed to be pushing in a general direction and let me tell you, it was not pleasant in the least.

Nope, not one bit.

And then everything was way too bright, everything was so cold and then I sucked in a breathe of air and let out the loudest scream I could. Everything was painful to the touch and overly sensitive. I let out another scream before something started manhandling me and wrapping me in something.

Let me tell you. I was terrified.

Even whatever they wrapped me in felt overly harsh against me. Everything was unpleasant. Nothing made sense and everything was blurry and out of focus. My eyes ached along with my whole body and I couldn't help myself from wanting to sob but exhaustion won and I passed the fuck out.

* * *

When I opened my eyes the next time, I came to realize that I was out of all the things that could have happened to me…I was reincarnated. Into. An. Infant.

 _Seriously?_

 _Are you fucking serious?_

I could almost imagine the Shinigami in the back of my mind laughing hysterically at me. However, there was no denying the fuzzy giants around me or the fact that I was so small and that I couldn't move worth shit.

A strong foreign comfort brought to me was my mother who tried to hold me as much as possible. It was almost a constant besides the time where she needed to sleep. One thing that kind of put me out was how comforting and sweet she was to me. I had never been treated with such care and love in my life, I know that I cried more than once simply because she was so warm and I could feel her happiness pouring off of her.

I felt like a starved dog that suddenly was brought a feast.

I didn't know what to do with myself so I simply held desperately onto her with my tiny hands and wanted to force her to stay always. I believe she took great joy in my need for her and easily complied to my possessiveness.

The thing about being a new infant is that you are not prepared for the freedom it presents to you to create an entire new identity.

Most people don't realize that to make yourself into someone new you must have a certain picture in your mind that you strive towards. I did not have a goal to strive towards at the time besides the fact that I just wanted to erase everything about my past self. So funnily as it sounds I decided to embrace my baby side as some would say.

I allowed myself to entertain the idea's of what I could do with my baby abilities.

I could troll people so hardcore that I was crackling evilly in my head for awhile at the very thought.

I don't believe I talked about my new father all that much.

Now that I think about it, right now, I can't really say much besides the fact that he is very warm and affectionate towards me. He holds me as much as he can when he is home which isn't as often as I think he hoped since my birth.

My damned baby eyes still haven't developed enough to see things clearly. Still to weak to really do anything besides open my eyes occasionally, eat, and maybe shit every once in awhile. I laid there submerged in the future's possibilities and to my utter surprise I was feeling ridiculously happy and giddy. I never took myself to be an optimist or a happy person and this new found emotion was just heavenly.

I don't understand how I could have let myself be so depressed in my last life. Well, I guess I had a good damn reason why, but, I just feel upset on how much I had missed out on back then.

The unfairness of life can definitely be a bitter pill to swallow unless you are me. I swallowed that pill when I was too little to speak the first time around. Not about to forget that lesson I felt the urge to enjoy life as much as possible this time around, to not hold myself back and try my absolute best to be true to myself and those around me.

To know that I have an entire blank slate before me produced a foreign emotion.

How would I describe it?

 _Exhilaration_.

* * *

 _Word Count: 2,250_

 **This is my first story and I'm not quite in the groove of writing and am mostly just rambling so please excuse my naivety. Please leave comments to help me make the story more interesting. Perhaps things I can work more or emphasis into more depth. I know the story is still very very young so please stick with me for now.**


	2. Chapter 2 - Deep Shit

Chapter 2

Deep Shit

Its been a few weeks since I've been brought home and mostly it's just been mom and I.

I haven't seen dad for a few weeks, at first I thought something bad had happened but my mom hasn't seemed distressed all that much, perhaps a bit lonely is all. Is this a common occurrence? Does his job require him to travel? I've been slowly picking up the language which sounds suspiciously like Japanese but not quite.

The only reason I know the word 'kaachan' is because my mom has pointed at herself and repeated that world over a million times already. Like, I get it. Stop.

It's endearing in its own way, my mom always gets super excited when I just burble or say anything close to "kaa" and I can't help but find it pretty hilarious to see a full grown adult act like such a child.

Her eyes practically _sparkle_ when I smile at her and reach towards her with the universal 'pick me up' gesture. Which she is happy to oblige. At first it was pretty embarrassing to have to rely on her for everything but you get over it pretty quickly when you realize that you are literally the only one making it awkward.

I can't do much else besides tilt my head to the sides and raise my hands, I still can't roll over which in itself is pretty fucking irritating. As of late I've been slightly concerned when I go to the bathroom. It doesn't feel right? Like something is off just a bit but I can't really check until my neck is strong enough for me to lift my head so I can actually get a good look which is gonna be a couple more weeks I think.

So I stare at the ceiling all day and maybe some of the wall, which are painted a soft neutral white. Yes, there are hard and soft white colors. Screw you if you think differently.

Let me tell you, I was fucking bored. Like, it was getting ridiculous. Why couldn't I be a toddler already and have a small select vocabulary so I can pull shit and ask things like what swear words mean? The look on their faces would be utterly priceless.

What should my first word be? I don't now, it'll come to me. I'll know it when the time comes.

In that moment my new mom comes into my room in a slight rush and picks me up.

 _"Come on, I'm tired of waiting for your father. We're going to surprise him,"_ She huffs. I don't know why she talks to me like she expects me to understand her.

She grabs me and a couple other things before swiftly bundling me up like a burrito, crap, I can already tell that the restriction is going to irritate me. Not giving me much choice she tucks me in her arms and swiftly walks to our front door. The entire time this is going on I'm wanting to see what the rest of our house looks like but all I can see is ceiling.

Aww, yes, white ceilings, so interesting. Goddamnit, I'm so bored. Oh look some more white and maybe a small yellow stain in the corner. The most fascinating thing I've seen as of late.

I know that I said that I would do my best but its so _hard_ when you actually can't do anything even relatively fun besides slobbering down my chin and staring at nothing.

So.

Boring.

To say the least that I'm relieved that I'm actually being taken somewhere that isn't my room is exciting and invigorating. I'm wide awake and eyes darting around. When my mom takes her first step out of our door I'm stunned with the amount of light and the color blue.

I've never really thought of how colors effect someone's emotions but all I can say is that I've lived a previous life in the color tone of grey, I died and drifted in the color black, and was reborn to only see white.

To see the color _blue._

It was like seeing hope materialized into an actual visual representation. I haven't experienced such intense emotions since I the first day I was born. My eyes widened and I let out a cry that was split between joy and a disbelief.

The sky was completely clear of clouds today, when was the last time I actually looked up to see the sky? Did I even glance up in my past life? How cou-

I mean, how could I have missed _this._

 _How could I have not looked up even once?_

My eyes were still wide open and I do believe a few tears escaped the corners but it didn't really matter at the time because all I could see was _blue_ and that is all that mattered. The feeling of _wonder_ and _astonishment_ that met with _hope_ formed into something I can only describe as _inspiration_.

It only takes one moment and hint of inspiration to form into determination and even perhaps a dream.

My dream. My desire. My inspiration.

To be _happy._

This took place in the span of a few seconds but I felt content and satiated. I had found an answer, I believe it is a very great dream. I know too many people that are ghosts in their life and I have experienced it first hand. I don't ever want to feel that ever again. Never. Again.

Everything felt sharp and in focus, things made sense. Like a break through to a problem that's been bothering you for ages. I found a reason to live. A motivator, something to push me forward.

I let out a sigh of happiness as my mom made her way down winding streets which were also full of color but I couldn't seem to tear my gaze away from the sky. There must have been something in my expression because my mom started giggling at me.

 _"If I didn't know better I would have thought you were a Nara,"_ She whispers quietly. Nara? That kind of sounds familiar, something nagged at me.

Something. Something just itching me in the back of my mind. It frustrated me slightly so I let it go to instead enjoy the sky some more. I'll figure it out later.

Eventually my mom reached the destination she was looking for because we stopped in front of a tall blank grey building.

Uhhh, not to sound cowardly but it didn't look even the slightest bit friendly or inviting. I glanced at my mom's face but she didn't even look disturbed at all.

Okkk, so apparently this is the correct building. I glared confusedly at the colorless building, there weren't even any windows. That is so depressing, who would want to work here?

My mom pushed the door open and casually walked past the reception desk. Does she come here a lot? The guy behind the reception desk barely spared her a glance only to pause when he saw me and then look away. We continued down hallway after hallway until I was thoroughly confused and impressed with her confident steps. Finally we paused in front of a door that had no indications on it whatsoever. No plaque anywhere in sight or anything even resembling letters. My mom raised her hand and nocked lightly onto the metal door.

 _"Come in,"_ A voice said. Ah! It was dad's voice. I started squirming in my mom's arms before she even had one foot through the doorway. I hadn't seen him in _fooorreevvverrr._

 _"You're son has been missing you,"_ Mom said while raising her eyebrow and her voice accusing. I couldn't understand what they were saying but I do know that my mom was scolding my dad about something. A guilty look flashed across my dad's face and it made me giggle, he so deserved what she was dishing out.

Due to my giggle both of my parent's eyes glued back to me. I pushed my arms free. Finally! Free from the the death trap called a blanket, too damn hot in that thing.

Waving my arms around I gurgled until my dad stood up from his desk and made his way to us. I waved my hands a bit more frantically to indicate that I wanted him to hold me. Laughing quietly he took me from my mom who just smiled at my antics.

He felt warm and safe, I peered up at his face in curiosity. He had long blonde hair that fell easily past his shoulders that looked like most of it was pulled back in a pony tail. I grabbed his hair and pulled his face to mine. My dad made a faint noise of pain before letting me push my hands onto his face.

 _"I think his eyes are finally finishing development,"_ My father said softly as my eyes explored his face. Damn, my dad was a looker. A definite pretty boy. He had soft blue-green eyes and a strong straight nose but what caught my attention the most was the headband that glinted in the over head light. I peered even closer which in turn made my dad chuckle, it was a headband with a metal plate that had the leaf symbol that I've only ever seen in the anime Naruto.

Oh.

Oh _SHIT_.

I felt quite overwhelmed and bewildered at that point so I just turned my face into my dad's chest and closed my eyes trying to gain a semblance of control over myself.

What ever you do, don't scream.

Don't scream.

...wait...

If I'm in Naruto then who is my father? Is he someone important? My eyes snapped open again and I jerked to see his face again. My dad was still staring at me when I scrunched up my face in concentration, he looked so familiar.

 _"What are you thinking about so hard Inomi-chan?"_ My father murmured. Who else had blonde hair and blue eyes in the anime? I frowned lightly while delving into the scattered memories of Naruto.

…

An image of a boy with pineapple hair and a boy eating chips, a flash of a girl with blonde hair sitting in a flower shop with a pink haired girl.

Yamanaka Ino, my brain supplied.

Who was her father. A flash of color of a man with something like a metal block over his eyes. Telepathy with many people. Explosion. Tears. _Pain_.

Inoichi.

Yamanaka Inoichi, one of the head interrogators for the Interrogation and Torture Division.

Oh Holy Fuck.

What about Ino? I haven't seen her anywhere? Did I take her place? Oh shit please no. I do not want to be the reason some shit goes sideways and people end up dead.

Despite all the crap that could go wrong and all the shit I knew that was going to happen I wanted to live this life so desperately. I want to be happy, I want all my friends and family to be happy and safe. I have to protect them and that means becoming strong. Much much stronger.

 _I am already too attached to let go._

But I am a child. No. Not even a child, I am a baby that hasn't even started teething yet. I can't even lift my head or crawl. How do I make my family happy? Surprisingly the answer was blaring me in the face and so fucking simple that it was frustrating.

How do I make my family happy?

Easy.

 _Be a child._

My family doesn't want some child who grows up before they are even seven years old. They don't want a strong protector, they don't want some prodigy, and they don't want a child so serious that they can't laugh. They want a baby that they can cuddle, they want a child they can read bed time stories to, they want a child that smiles so bright that they can only smile in return, they want a want a child who is happy.

In the end that is always what it comes down to. What people strive and long for subconsciously.

 _Happiness._

I don't need to be powerful right now, I don't need to be serious right now, I don't need to become a zombie to stop the pain that is coming because no matter what happens there will always be death and darkness. There will always be nightmares and words that spit hate.

What people need is someone who can give them light. Someone who can give them a small piece of advice that no one else can give. Someone who will make you smile even when tears are streaming down your face.

 _I can be that light._

Coming to that conclusion I fell asleep in my dad's arms with a heart much lighter than before. I found my light in a grey building without windows built for the purpose to inflict pain onto others. What a strange world I've been born into.

* * *

 **Be prepared for laughter and definitely some darkness in the next chapter. If you have any ideas or want me to pay particular attention to or just fix stupid mistakes send me a review or private message. Thank you and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3 - Goddamit

Chapter 3

God Dammit

I believe I am now four or five months old, I can now roll over and crawl a bit which I believe is scaring the shit out of my parents. Especially with my new found talent in escaping my crib, I couldn't help but cackle evilly in my head at the thought.

They had just gone to sleep and as quietly as I could manage I gripped the crib bars with my hands and with an enormous amount of effort I managed to hook my foot over the top of the crib. Using the strength of my legs and my arms I pulled my upper body onto the perilous edge of the tall crib. I continued to hold onto the bars in a death grip as I eased my self over the edge to freedom.

Just as it became painful I let go and let myself land on my ass with a soft thud. I started giggling hysterically but clamped a hand over my mouth to muffle my laughter. Night was the only time I got to explore, I think my body is progressing much faster than other babies mostly to my pig headed need to explore and snoop.

Yes, I am one of THOSE children.

They've only caught me about twice now but then again I've only had successful crib escapades twice. You see the pattern?

I am not sneaky apparently.

I'm going to have to fix that (insert evil cackle). Practice makes perfect.

Wiggling slightly I rolled onto my stomach and started crawling towards the door leading to the hall. Both times this is where I was captured by my Dad. I will get my vengeance.

A huge devious smile spread across my lips as I silently and successfully made it to the top of the stairs. Turning around I let my feet go first instead of my hands, I do not want to fall head first down the stairs because I am still a baby, that would fucking hurt.

Surprisingly none of the stairs creaked, huh, must be a ninja thing. Speaking of ninja I have decided to become one, well, not like I really had a choice being the Yamanaka clan heir. Dear lord that is going to be a pain in the ass in the future.

…

Meh. Screw politics.

I had a sharp tongue in my past life, I can redevelop it here. I let out a near silent squeal of happiness when I made it to the bottom of the stairs. The light 'pap, pap' of my hands and knees on the floor is the only thing you could hear in house.

Wow, my house is bigger than I thought. It was a long hallway that had multiple doors leading to god knows where but there was only one that was slightly open and so that made my goal extremely easy. It was too dark to make out any colors but as I squeezed my way through the open crack of the door when I suddenly felt something was very wrong.

The feeling of not being alone.

You know those minutes after you watch a terrifying horror movie and it gets you all paranoid and you feel like something is in the room with you? That unnerving 'ohshit' feeling that makes you guts twist uncomfortably?

Well, it was basically that except five times stronger.

Adrenaline hit me in the gut and I tried to make myself small. I did not know this person, their chakra was unfamiliar and cruel. They smelled of old blood and death. Oh shit, what if they're a sensor? I pulled myself closer together and kept my breathing even. I remember reading about pulling chakra to a tiny spot on the body to hide chakra when infiltrating. I have no idea who the hell I'm going to do that but I'd rather try than die here.

I imagined myself melding into the dark and disappearing, I don't exist. Wrapping my chakra into the tiniest ball I could until it was almost nonexistent.

Quietly and slowly I crept along the wall of the room which appeared to be the kitchen. I froze along side the kitchen table when a pair of feet appeared on the other side of the table. I am nothing, I don't exist, I am part of the darkness. Star wars flashed in my head and all I could think is that it was highly inappropriate for this moment.

Stupid fucking brain.

Their feet made no sound as they made their way to the hallway and up the stairs. Realization hit me in the gut, I am a clan heir. Holy shit, I forgot about assassins and kidnappings. The evil killer dude was here for me.

 _Oh shit. Oh shit oh shitohshitohshit._

I didn't dare move until I heard a sudden clash of metal and yelling started upstairs which kicked me into darting for the cabinet underneath the sink. Forgetting about being quiet I tore it open and scrambled in before trying to quickly close the door. My heart was thumping in my chest and I curled even tighter into myself. I don't want to be found. I held my hand to my mouth to silence my heavy breathing.

 _Oh fuck_ , I hope dad and mom were ok.

I heard more yelling and clashes before a heavy _thud_ and then _silence_. I felt my eyes widen and a small whimper escaped my mouth. Silence was almost more terrifying than the shouting. Then a cry of anguish and panicked steps down the stairs. The grip of my hand against my mouth was almost painful but I was too terrified to let up.

The cry sounded like mom, two sets of feet were rushing around the house. They were not bothering to be quiet anymore either. I could feel my heart in my throat and my eyes were starting to burn from me refusing to blink.

I pushed myself as far back into the cabinet as I could and curled my knees to my chest, making myself as small as possible.

Because I had restrained my own chakra I couldn't use it to sense others chakra in the house, I had to guess who was out there. I breathed silently through my nose and tried to slow the pounding of my heart in my chest but that was completely futile. I strained my hearing too trying to distinguish what was going on by the rustling going sounds on the other side of the cabinet door. The smell of fear rolling from me was permeating into the air and practically choked me.

I was afraid that the intruder would be able to detect it but there wasn't a fucking thing I could do to stop my panicking.

I don't know how long I sat there terrified but more and more feet started joining the other sets in the kitchen as time went on. Their muffled voices and steps just a few feet from me, I held my breathe as terror spiked my chakra levels that I'd been previously hiding. I wanted to scream at myself for my lack of control and stupidity.

The doors of my hiding place tore open, I let out a high piercing scream before I reclamped my hands back over my mouth.

A man in a white dog mask with silver gravity defying hair shifted in front of my eyes, his hands held up in a placate manner. To show he wasn't there to hurt me but I felt a whole new wave of fear emit from me as I identified who this man was.

Hatake Kakashi, the man who would play a major part in the future events of this world. My eyes widened even further and I'm pretty sure my pupils where completely dilated from the stress of all the events. Tears welled up in my eyes as I couldn't handle the situation anymore.

I was a five month old child, how the hell was I supposed to handle this. I don't care about my mental age, it was not ready for this situation in the least. My entire body was so tense from locking my muscles for such a long time I couldn't even react when he slowly pulled me from my hiding place.

A sob tore out of my tiny body, I just wanted my dad. In my mind he was deemed 'safe' and 'protection.' My eyes were so filled with tears that I almost couldn't make out the other figures in the room. I tightened my hold on Kakashi was he held me close in his arms to make sure I wouldn't escape his grasp in case I decided to lash out.

There were three other Anbu scattered in the corners of the room, aside from them was a large man with spikey red hair and clothes that identified him as a Akimichi, and a lithe tan skinned man with dark hair tied up in spikey formation that resembled a pineapple and three jagged scars on his face.

I was stunned to realize that aside from the Anbu, Akimichi Chouza and Nara Shikaku where also here. Well it did make sense, the Yamanaka, Akimichi, and Nara clan are close and an assassination or kidnapping attempt had just been made on a clan heir. Goddamn I was meeting a lot of canon characters rather suddenly.

I sort of wish I could have made a better first impression but the tears on my face and anxiety made it half way impossible to dredge up the extra feelings to care.

The thing about babies bodies is that when they get riled up and upset it's extremely difficult to calm them down. They will get more and more upset until they drop off into an exhausted sleep.

A louder sob burst from my lungs with a slight frustrated scream.

I just wanted my dad.

At that moment a clatter across the room revealed my dad at the hallway doorway with an article of my clothing in his hand. I locked my eyes with his; his wide with disbelief, relief, and joy. Mine wide with terror and relief at seeing his face.

"TOU!" My loud cry rang through the room with desperation and fear. The sound of it foreign and raised the hair on my arms. At that moment I forgot that I was a five month old, I shouldn't have been able to say my first word yet. I should only have been babbling nonsense but there I was confused as hell and I didn't give a fuck about that shit. My dad was right there, barely ten feet away and I was scared out of my mind.

So I did the one thing that would make him come to me faster, I called to him.

He was across the room before I could blink, lifting me into his arms. I only started to sob harder and grabbed his yukata into a death grip and my head was set into the crook of his neck.

I kept repeating that desperate word even though it grew more and more unintelligible as time went on and I cried while he made soothing sounds, stroking my back until I drifted into sleep in his arms. I couldn't bring myself to listen in on the conversation around me as my mind drifted into unconsciousness knowing I was finally safe and my father's comforting scent surrounded me.

One last thought flitted through my mind before the darkness claimed me.

 _I was fucking way in over my head._

* * *

 **Yes, I know that I'm a horrible person at updating but I hit so many dead ends with this story or I'm just plain unhappy with my writings. So I please beg patience for me. I am not giving up this story, I just want to make it a damn good one. Which takes time and effort that I struggle with. So forgive me.**


	4. Chapter 4 - Praise Whore

**Some of you have been wondering about why I chose the title that I did, and all I can say for now is that not everything is as it appears. Sometimes the characters in the story see what they want to see. I wish I could give you more details but even I don't have it all planned out yet, just a rough idea.**

 **I want people to know that I'm going to be focusing on the childhood years for the next couple of chapters.**

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Chapter 4

Praise Whore

Once I had woken up from the initial attack I realized that my parent's had killed the enemy shinobi I had seen and no one had gotten hurt. Though because I wasn't in my crib they had thought another enemy shinobi had taken me so my dad had alerted a code to surrounding Jounin that a clan heir had been taken.

They had been planning on using the on duty ANBU unit that Kakashi had been a part of it to track me and that's why my dad had an article of my clothing in his hand so they could track my scent.

 _Not creepy at all._

But a much appreciated effort.

It was only because of my slip up with my chakra that they located me under the sink when it flared up before they started a serious search. I guess stupid mistakes are helpful sometimes?

I don't know much more than that since I was asleep for the rest of it though I'm guessing that the person behind the assassination/kidnap attempt had gotten what was coming to them because when my dad came to see me the next morning when I awoken he had dark circles under his eyes and blood splatters on his clothing.

I was actually sort of flattered in a morbid sense that he personally killed the person or people responsible for going after me.

On another note there are some other things that have come to my attention.

One of the many things I have realized in my new life is that I _crave_ physical affection of any kind. Be it a kiss on the forehead to a full on cuddle session with my parents. The _upside_ is that as a baby I had the ability to do so without it seeming weird.

 _Downside_ is that after the initial attack a few weeks ago I have become damn clingy.

I also can't stand being inside my own house anymore, I always find excuses to be outside and exploring the initial terrain under the careful eye of one of my parents.

I make it sound cool but by terrain I mean my backyard.

 _What?_ I'm a baby, a backyard seems enormous to me.

Anyways back to me being clingy.

My initial pension for affection has turned into a full blown unhealthy dependence.

Personally, I'm pretty embarrassed about my reaction to the attack. How am going to handle this world if I can't even handle an assassination possible kidnap attempt where I didn't even need to face the opponent.

All I did was hide.

I'm pretty disappointed with myself at the moment and have been trying to figure out ways to _not_ b _e_ within the same vicinity as my parents at all times. That's right, I'm trying to face my fears and nip them in the bud before they become anything detrimental.

Plus my curiosity was practically killing me to see how different my original culture is compared to this one but my fear overruled it more times than not.

Actually my fear won most times.

Also, since the attack and my outburst of calling out my dads name has made him try to get me to say it again but I have refused. I just stare at him and then go back to whatever I had been doing but only if he stays next to me.

I've leveled up from crawling to walking in the short expansion of a few weeks so I could meet my need to explore and avoid the inside of buildings like the plague. It was difficult to accomplish while crawling so I forced myself to start learning to walk on two legs.

It was difficult at first but once I started applying chakra to my legs to speed up the process I had finally gotten it down a few days ago. I still fall if I turn too sharply but overall I think that what I accomplished was pretty impressive.

I know my dad is worried about me since I stopped my babbling, actually I haven't made a sound in the past weeks. Which has put my mom in a frenzy and has started babying me more than before.

I am slightly irritated with being smothered but I can't stop myself from wanting to be with them at the same time. I desperately want to explore the outside and the surrounding area but at the same time I'm terrified of being alone. I was _naive_ , so horribly and embarrassingly _naive_.

I didn't take the darkness and death in this world seriously. I thought everything would be fine and dandy as long as I wanted it to be but this world does not play on my terms, it plays on no ones terms and I got caught up in thinking this was a _story._

This is not just a story anymore, this is my _life_ and _reality._

 _And it is not merciful._

I've started worrying about if I should change canon events, or should I just handle it as it comes? Have I already changed things just by existing? If I exist then should I just act how I want because either way I will be influencing things just by being the new Yamanaka heir instead of Ino?

Then again I'm here, nothing I can do about that. If I'm going to fuck things up then might as well completely and extraordinarily fuck it up.

By the way found out my mom is pregnant again, turns out she got pregnant a month after I was born.

Really dad? _Really._

Anyways so it turns out I'll probably be in the same year as her since I'll only be ten months older than Ino. I'm honestly really excited to be an older sibling, I had never had siblings before. She is going to be so spoiled rotten between my dad and me.

I hope me existing doesn't fuck her up in any way.

Because if I did then thats a pretty big shit bang job to my conscience.

Well, it's not like its not already getting fucked up.

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 **Inoichi's POV**

Inoichi had been asleep when he sensed killing intent in his house, his blood ran cold as he darted out of the bed. Grabbing three kunai and resting his hand on the shoji door leading to the hallway, his son's room was right across the hall.

Inoichi stayed silent and steady, listening intently, waiting for the enemy to get close enough for an ambush. Protectiveness surged through his body along with cold calculating anger. He had been waiting for something like this to happen for the past five months.

His eyes flashed murderously as he swiftly opened the door silently and launched himself at the assassin that was hired to kill his son. Their kunai clashed and he pushed the intruder back away from his son's room.

The enemy crouched down into a defensive position.

Inoichi flipped another kunai into his empty hand, slashing for the assassins throat who deftly avoided it by rolling sideways. Inoichi snarled silently before throwing one of his kunai for the assassins thigh which whistled through the air before hitting it's target with a wet thunk, for forcing the intruder down onto one knee.

The sound woke his wife who shouted from their room and stumbled out of their bed.

He had to end this _now._

Steeling his nerves he waited for his opponents next move. The assassin threw two shuriken which Inoichi avoided before the bastard darted forward at him and tried to punch his stomach. Inoichi slipped left before stepping into the assassins guard and slammed his elbow against the assassins upper left temple, stunning him for a few moments, in that time Inoichi slammed his hand into the bastards face feeling his nose break with a satisfying crunch under his palm.

But he wasn't done, Inoichi grabbed the kunai still in the assassins thigh and twisted. The bastard let out a muffled cry before Inoichi tore the kunai out and slit his opponents throat, the cry turned into gurgled gasping.

A few moments later the assassin slid to the ground dead.

Inoichi huffed a few breaths. All of this had happened in under thirty seconds.

Adrenaline coursed through his body as he turned towards his son's room, tearing the door open and dashing in only to find it completely empty. His son no where in sight and Inoichi couldn't feel his chakra signature anywhere in the house.

Fury threatened to overwhelm him before he took a few more deep breaths and allowed himself to _think_.

He turned to his wife who was standing in the doorway a look of fear and dread prominent on her face, an anguished sob slipping through her lips.

"Go to the Hokage, tell him what happened and alert him that the Yamanaka heir has been taken. Request ANBU tracking specialists and send messages to Shikaku and Chōza of what's happened here. I'll stay here and look for any leads we can use, hurry!" He ordered. She wavered a few seconds before enveloping him in a hug and kissing him fiercely.

"I love you," She whispered with tears in her eyes, "We'll find him."

Inoichi's gaze softened a bit before stroking her face with his thumb.

"I love you too, now please hurry," He whispered back, "Every second counts."

She flickered away wordlessly and Inoichi turned back to the body.

A frown pinched his face and he thought back to the fight, going over things step by step. His frown deepened, this assassin had been unskilled and extremely clumsy. He had beaten him through mostly taijutsu and the Yamanaka are not known for their taijutsu, Inoichi was no exception. The assassin even let his killing intent out before he even reached his target, an amateur mistake.

Everything was screaming diversion.

Inoichi let out an unsteady breath and carefully collected his emotions before moving them aside to observe and catalog this clinically.

His instincts were shrieking at him that this was wasn't the main attack, that their true attention was elsewhere but the remaining fact is that _his son is missing._

Inoichi lifted his hand to his hair gripping it tightly, frustrated panic was already seeping into his chest again.

 _No_ , calm down, getting riled up helps no one. Especially his son.

Unless the true assassin was steps ahead of the amateur one that Inoichi had killed.

Perhaps the first one took his son before hand and then the second one came as a distraction for him to focus on while the first escaped with a higher chance of getting away when Inoichi was fighting the second one.

But why would they go to such lengths as to alert him of their presence then attack him when the first one had already kidnapped his son without Inoichi being aware. What was the point of attacking him? He definitely wasn't strong enough to kill Inoichi, so it wasn't a kidnapping and assassination attempt.

Inoichi lowered himself down next to the body.

Short brown hair, brown eyes, tan skin, common build, basic clothing, no weapons on his person besides kunai and shuriken. Nails trimmed, no distinctive beauty marks on the body, his face was neither attractive or ugly, all in all a very undescriptive and normal. Nothing to tell him apart in a crowd, nothing to draw his attention.

This shinobi's appearance maintenance was top notch, completely professional but his skills were abysmal.

…which made no sense.

Inoichi rubbed his forehead angrily, he really hoped Shikaku would be here soon. Nothing was making sense.


End file.
